Stories

• Cat in Hat gives a chalk talk
• Flox in sox
• Horton Hatches a Proposal
• Horton Hears a Who… but then Gets Dragged Through LIVING HELL Trying to Get His Finding PUBLISHED!!
• Little Bear Writes a Grant

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Articles

• A Short Visual History of Worm–Fly Conflicts
• Actual Questions Rejected by ‘CRISPR Panel at Genetics Meeting
• Andrew Wakefield Declares Himself Winner of 2020 Nobel Prize in Medicine/Physiology
• Another Day Another Fray- SDB Poster Session Disrupted by “Model” vs “Non-Model” Feuding
• C. elegans scientists disappointed with first visit to Pickathon festival
• Clashes Between Model-Organism Researchers Erupts at SDB 2022 for 8th Consecutive Year
• Creators of Brown, Beige, and Burnt-Umber Fluorescent Proteins Disappointed in Usage
• Genes within long-standing operon calling it quits
• Ghost of Kary Mullis wants to regale you with story about ‘that time’ he invented PCR – again
• Globular Protein ‘Not Remotely Pleased’ With Published Crystallographic Images
• Ground-Breaking Quintuple-Blinded Study Leads to Near Total Confusion
• Hilarious PCR/CPR Mix-Up Leads to Failed Amplification, Patient’s Death
• Hindawi Introduces New HindCite Publishing Model
• Latest Crazy Conspiracy Theory of 2020 Proclaims Academia to be Pyramid Scheme
• Lazy-Ass Grant Fails to ‘Write Itself’
• Male Scientists Routinely Overestimate Size of Allantoid-Shaped Cells, Organelles, Study Finds
• Model Organism Rivalries are Nothing New
• Most American Attendees of SDB 2022 Have no Intention of Returning to US After Meeting
• N1 Still Contesting Choice of N2 Strain
• Names Given to Children of C. elegans Scientists Will Now Require Jonathan Hodgkin’s Approval
• Narcissistic Math Wiz Considering Career in Computational Modeling
• Nation’s PIs have no idea why your PCR didn’t work
• New 2021 TV Premiers to Include ‘Magnum PI- The Pre-Tenure Years’
• New AI Program 95% Accurate at Predicting Where Paper Will be Ultimately Published
• New Graduate Student totally stoked” to be Working on Career-Killing Project
• New PhD Student Stoked About Possibility of Virtual Hookup at First Online Science Meeting
• Opinion- Dr. Scholl really needs to stop calling themself a ‘Doctor’!
• PI Demands Flow Cytometer Recount
• Planarian Experiencing Strong Sense of Déjà Vu, Specifically in Tail Region
• Plate Beat- L4 male Psyched For First Date
• Plate Beat – Roller Worm Increasingly Frustrated
• Plate Beat – Uptick in Worm Abductions
• Point Counter (Very Fine) Point – Sharpie vs. VWR
• Point Counter Point – Write vs Review
• Project leaders experiencing all five stages of grief with dying grant
• Proteins in catabolic pathway getting “fed up” with ‘rate-limiting enzyme’
• Pseudogene Suffers From Imposter Syndrome
• Republican Leadership Overtly Calling for Widespread Genetic Suppression
• Restriction Endonuclease Made During the Clinton Administration Not Seeing Much Action
• Rotation Student Looking Forward to ‘Equal Exchange of Ideas’ Over Next 8 Weeks
• Selfish DNA element reflects on past choices, mistakes
• Senior Faculty Nostalgically Recall Loving Benchwork, Forget Hating Benchwork
• Session on Genetic Conflict Rapidly Devolves into Interpersonal Conflict at TAGC 2024
• Susan Collins Writes a Manuscript Rebuttal
• Three Dudes Awarded Nobel Prize for Studies on Why Female Scientists Don’t Get Nobel Prizes
• Trmp1, 45th Enzyme in 46-Enzyme Pathway, ‘Refusing to Stabilize Transition State’
• Typo in NIH Call for Applications Leads to Deluge of Gnome Sequencing Proposals
• UK Variant Sues South African and Brazilian Variants Over Rights to N501Y Substitution
• Worm Pick with ‘Wicked Edge’ Terrorizing Plate